real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
