Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How naked do you want me to be?
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