Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
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He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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