never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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