he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
