he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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