the condom got lost in my hair
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Farmville is her only friend.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
