you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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