I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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