all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
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I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
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I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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