I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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