Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
