just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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