yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
