You just made me feel so damn special
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
