oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
