Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
