saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
