Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
