I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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