At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
