blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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