Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
