Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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