And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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