the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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