So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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