I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
