it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
