The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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