is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
