you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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