WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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