Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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