First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
