Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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