Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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