If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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