Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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