I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
