Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
