I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
