Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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