Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
