yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It was confusing and full of hummus
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
