I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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