Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
