Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
