How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
