On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
