Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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