obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
