your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
