its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
