People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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