guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
