hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
