Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
