do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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